QUOTE (<Max>+May 17 2008, 05:34 AM)
It's always great to talk about REAL physics. You know, like in Quantum Physics forum!
HAF YUO HEARD OF FREE THINKER ZARKOF?? HE IS CONDUOCTING RESEARCH ON KEPPLERS LAW. MAYBE HIS RESEARCH CAN BE INTEGRATED INTO FAIRIE TEORY???
MAYBI YUO SHOULD CONTACT SARKOV SOON??? FOUR I FEAR TEH SCIENCE COMMIUNITY WANT TO SILENCE HIM
17th May 2008 - 07:48 PM
Maybe he's finally decided that whining about things on a forum isn't going to stop CERN and he's put his money where his mouth is and has flown to Geneva in order to go to 'the source'.
Right now he's dressed all in black, scaling the fence which surrounds CERN, avoiding the patrolling death squads and the roving search lights, so that he can gain access to one of the ventilation shafts which leads down into the complex. From there he'll crawl through the ventilation system, avoiding the usual dangers of being sucked into the furnace, Aliens and greased up Scotsmen (that's a Simpsons' reference if you don't get it), finally emerging in the control centre.
In the process of disabling the crew of scientists who were checking power levels for 'The Death Machine', the alarm will be triggered and Ub will have to face off against a bunch of irradiated 'Super Scientists' (think 'Universal Soldier' but even more socially inept and thicker glasses). He'll be defeated and tied up, at which point Stephen Hawking will enter the room and explain his fendish plan to destroy the Earth using CERN, while he and his elite team of physicists will observe, in safety, from their secret Moon base.
It's at this point Ub will break free of his restraints, press the big red button in the middle of the CERN control room which says above it "Do not press" and in all the confusion of loud sirens, inexplicable jets of steam/fog and a calm female voice announcing "60 seconds to core overload", he'll manage to make it to an emergency escape pod, which will be fired out of the complex just as the superconductors quench, destroying the entire area.
The escape pod will land about 10 miles from the resultant crater, from which Ub will emerge to be greeted by crowds of cheering people, thanking him for saving them from the evil physics conspiracy, master minded by Hawking. Of course, Ub knows it's not over. Someday, somewhere, someone else will try to build a 40km long circular super collider. But he'll be waiting....
[cue dramatic music and the camera zooming in on Ub's eyes narrowing]
17th May 2008 - 07:51 PM
17th May 2008 - 07:56 PM
AlphaNumeric. You owe me a keyboard
17th May 2008 - 08:18 PM
QUOTE (AlphaNumeric+May 17 2008, 02:48 PM)
... it's not over. Someday, somewhere, someone else will try to build a 40km long circular super collider. But he'll be waiting....
AlphaNumeric, wonderfully done! Thank you.
(What is that Scotsman's name? I forget...)
17th May 2008 - 10:22 PM
17th May 2008 - 10:46 PM
Thank you. Is he related to the groundskeeper at Star Fleet Academy? What is his name, Empress?
BDW, we may have some moderating to do finally.Ron, Paul, and Derek1148, not to mention bm1957, have joined!
Maybe We have troublemakers, maybe not. Be ready... Someone invite Uba, please. I miss him!
18th May 2008 - 01:08 AM
The escape pod will land about 10 miles from the resultant crater, from which Ub will emerge to be greeted by crowds of cheering people, thanking him for saving them from the evil physics conspiracy, master minded by Hawking....
...And then he opens his eyes, again....
18th May 2008 - 08:36 AM
... and then Newton's zombie breaks free from its crypt and eats the Royal Family, doubling in size with each human eaten, the very thing the much maligned Hawking, Feynman and Einstein have been trying to protect the universe from since a mysterious Doctor came to them with a plan to save humanity.
The hundreds of millions of rescue ships led by the scholars of a hundred races are seen briefly in the skies, but after a very brief consultation decide not to rescue a race stupid enough to willingly set loose the Newton zombie. And the Master wins...
18th May 2008 - 09:57 AM
...Because the Doctor was busy facing off with the Daleks, still trying to shake off the effects of the dreaded curse of the fatal death. Meanwhile, 3 million cybermen and 4 Daleks with name were currently in the process of trying to slip through the cracks in reality, because little did Ubavontuba realize, there was an ulterior motive behind the LHC.
The Dr, in amongst his efforts to save humanity from everybody else, and itself, had been collaborating with Hawking, and Torchwood to build a device capable of sealing the cracks between our world and the other worlds predicted by the Many Worlds Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, but it was really the evil minions of Dr John Duffield that had been dissemenating erroneous information about the purpose of the LHC. The same erroneous information that would eventually lead to Ubavontubas insanity, because Farsight had another name.
That name was DAVROS...
18th May 2008 - 04:47 PM
Frustrated and saddened by the lose of his companion, Rose Tyler, the Doctor went on holiday in an attempt to clear his mind.
By now John Duffield had created a machine that could warp the existence and knots of gravity, allowing him to shape the Universe to his liking. Knowing that Duffield's machine would cause chaos, and with Earth's fate already leaning towards doom, the Doctor must employ all of his resources and team up with an old enemy to stop the destruction of reality as we know it...
18th May 2008 - 06:20 PM
Q: What's the Doc's favourite side order?
A: Dalek Bread.
20th May 2008 - 08:09 AM
21st May 2008 - 03:01 AM
Curses! The uba-nemesis has returned
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