How do you know if it's too much?
***? All my life i've been this shy, guy (and overly religious,) but I just paid a web cam girl like $3.00 per minute to dance naked for me live, and then tipped her more on top of that.
And no, it's not the same girl I'm supposed to be talking to to date.
And this is almost totally out of character for me. Ok, I'm a single guy and I've admitted in the past even on here that I have looked at porn a few times, but I've never paid somebody for live strip teases or other porn dance or anything remotely like that.
It felt good just to be nice to her, for god's sake, and what she did for me was more than worth it, easy.
Is this something I should talke to a doctor about?
But then again, the Female psychologists prescription for me, besides the medicine, was that I "get a girlfriend," which is true, but when you're as screwed up anxiety as I was that was impossible.
Maybe I'm "cured," we'll have to see, but I'll have to do something to test myself some more, but I don't know how I'll react and go over some line.
The other day I even managed to interact with a "ten" woman in Wal Mart, which took a few minutes for me to get up some nerve, but it wasn't exactly what I hoped by at least I did talk to her, which I'd never do before.
It is changing my mind and the ways I think and interact in ways I might not be aware of...I don't know...like suddenly finding I'm attracted to women for different reasons than I used to be, or focus on different features, or something like that.
If I'm on the medicine I might not be true to my former self, but if I'm off the medicine I am useless.
What the heck should I do?
The main "bad" part of all of this is the realization that I have suffered practically crippling social disorders all of my life, which could have been cured by a freaking 5 milligram pill the whole time.
or maybe it's a side effect of the Neurontin, or both, whatever...